Children and Coercive Control- The Hidden Epidemic We Can No Longer Ignore

When Fiona Drouet last saw her daughter, Emily, she noticed that her eyes had lost their sparkle. Just weeks later, Fiona’s world fell apart. Emily had taken her own life, aged 18, after months of relentless coercive control and abuse from her boyfriend; a fellow university student.

My daughter took her own life after being abused by her boyfriend

Fiona’s story, shared through the charity she founded, EmilyTest, has become a rallying cry for change. It’s a tragic reminder that coercive control isn’t limited to adult relationships; it’s infiltrating the lives of young people, often long before they can recognise what’s happening.

A Growing Crisis Among Young People

Reports of teenage coercive behaviour are rising sharply – by 23% in the past year, according to the NSPCC.

What’s more shocking is that some of these cases involve young abusers themselves. Social media, pornography, and online influencers who glorify misogyny have helped normalise patterns of manipulation, control, and emotional abuse.

Fiona says she assumed her daughter understood what a healthy relationship looked like: “I thought I was being a responsible parent by warning her to cover her drink on nights out. It didn’t enter my head to talk about red flags in relationships.”

That sentiment is shared by Sharon Holland, whose daughter Chloe also took her own life after suffering sustained coercive and controlling abuse. Sharon has since launched the campaign Her Name Was Chloe Holland, calling for coercive control to be taught in schools and for stronger laws, including a new charge of manslaughter by coercive control when victims die by suicide as a result of psychological abuse

Schools should teach about coercive and controlling behaviour, victim’s mother says.

The Invisible Harm to Children

Children who grow up around coercive control, or experience it in their own relationships, may not have bruises, but they bear deep emotional scars. The consequences can include anxiety, depression, trauma, self-blame, and difficulty forming healthy relationships later in life.

Coercive control often isolates young people from friends and family, distorts their sense of reality, and destroys their self-worth. Many victims, like Emily and Chloe, hide what’s happening, unable to find words for their pain, or fearing they won’t be believed.

Why Education Is the Key to Prevention

Fiona, Sharon, and other campaigners agree education is the most powerful tool we have to prevent future tragedies. They want every child, from primary school upwards, to learn what coercive control looks like, how to spot red and green flags in relationships, and how to ask for help.

Schools, meanwhile, need better resources and statutory guidance. Despite recent Department for Education advice on teaching about incels and online misogyny, campaigners warn that misogyny is “spreading like a virus” in schools, with long-term consequences for society if it’s not addressed early

A Collective Responsibility

Ending coercive control starts with recognition. Parents, teachers, healthcare professionals, and policymakers must all work together to educate, to listen, and to act.

Recognising the growing influence of harmful online narratives, the NSPCC has recommended that education on healthy and unhealthy relationships should begin in primary schools, where appropriate. Teaching children early about respect, consent, and emotional boundaries can help them recognise red flags and challenge coercive behaviour before it becomes normalised.

As Fiona Drouet says, “We only wish we still had that chance.” Her words are a reminder that silence, stigma, and ignorance can be deadly. But with awareness and compassion, we can build a future where no child feels trapped, isolated, or powerless and where the next generation grows up understanding that love should never hurt.